Thursday, November 13, 2008

you can plan a pretty picnic, but you can't predict the weather

9 AM. Finally home. After 6 tough days in Lake Geneva. Hair Show. 2000 Hairdressers. I worked. And Worked. and worked. And sat through meetings. And was never NOT in someone else's face. There was no free time. No time alone. No time to step away. No time to be a friend. My mind drove me crazy the entire week for various reasons. My guard was let down. I have experienced anxiety among many other emotions, which rarely happens. It feels good to be home. I can relax, deal with my life, and escape the madness. Reflecting on the weekend, Here are a few things that I re-realized:

  • I am uncomfortable with people that are insecure and uncomfortable with themselves.

  • You never know when someone is going to change their mind.

  • I DO have feelings.

  • I DO NOT appreciate people fucking with me.

  • I do not respect weakness and vulnerability

  • Often times, when I develop a crush, it is based on personality and conversation rather than looks (I don't develop many crushes)

  • Love is a battlefield.

"What is most commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an identification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever. The Spanish language is the most honest in regard to conventional notions of love: Te quiero means "I want you" as well as "I love you." The other expression for "I love you," te amo, which does not have this ambiguity, is rarely used-perhaps because true love is just rare."

-Eckhart Tolle "A New Earth

No comments: