from the "Complaint Box"

This article was written in the New York Times and seriously made me laugh out loud. Reminds me of my life in Chicago travelling from salon to salon.... looking for some place ((safe)) to put my car.

The other day on Fifth Avenue in the 50s, I was confronted with one of those ubiquitous red warning signs with a snowflake: “Snow Route / No Standing During Emergency / Vehicles Towed.” Underneath it, another red sign said: “No Standing Anytime.”

So there was no standing when there was a snow emergency and there was no standing when there was not a snow emergency. Like, no standing ever. But sometimes really no standing.

If there was no standing anytime, why did I need to know there was also no standing during a snow emergency? Did the Ten Commandments say also no adultery on Hamptons weekends?

Luckily, I was on foot. You would not want to be driving and trying to decipher the esoteric code of New York City’s parking signs at the same time.

On East 47th Street near the United Nations, twin signs announce: “No Standing Anytime” and “No Standing / 6 AM-6 PM / Wednesday / Except Farmers Market.” Definitely too much information.

In the West 40s, another pair presented an intriguing puzzle: “No Standing / 3 AM-5 AM / Except Sunday,” and just below, “Other Times/No Standing Anytime/Taxi Stand.”

So you could stand there weekdays and Saturdays before 3 a.m. and after 5 a.m., and all day Sunday. Except when you couldn’t. Which was all the time — unless you were a taxi. Did street cleaners come around in those two wee hours? Deliveries? Or was there some other mysterious reason the street had to be free of cars before dawn?

A parking pole in the West 40s posed another riddle. Underneath the standard “No Parking Anytime” was a sign saying “NYC Parking Card Available.”

Huh? A card not to park anytime?

Some signs just took a little time to decipher. Along First Avenue in the 50s, there was “No standing 7-10 AM/4-7 PM/Except Sunday.” Simple enough: Sundays you could stand all you want. Weekdays and Saturdays, only between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. and after 7 p.m.

But oops, not so fast. “Other Times / No Standing / Except Commercial Vehicles / Metered Parking / 3 Hr. Limit / Except Sunday” read another sign below.

Hmmmm. Only commercial vehicles could stand there — for three hours, if they bought a meter ticket. Maybe.

I was contemplating the nuanced difference between standing and parking when I spotted a pair of signs on 40th Street near Avenue of the Americas. One said, “No Standing/7AM-7 PM/Except Sunday.” Fair enough. You could leave your car there any night and all day Sunday. Wrong. Because the other sign said, “No Parking/2 AM-6 AM/ Mon Wed Fri.” So, as I figured it, three days a week for four hours in the middle of the night you could sit (uh, stand) there in your car but you could not leave it parked, not without risking a ticket.

In Midtown, a pole — virtually a sign tree — spouted an array of proscriptions requiring consultation of a calendar if not an astrological chart. The first banned standing from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Friday. The next said no parking for street cleaning from 8:30 a.m. to 9 a.m. except Sunday. Then came a sign allowing Muni-Metered one-hour parking weekdays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. And finally another permitting parking from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturdays.

My head was still spinning when I peeked into a garage near Times Square to see how drivers might avoid the confusion of street parking.

For up to half an hour, the rate was $9.29 (plus, of course, 18 percent parking tax.) For two hours, $17.74. Twelve hours, $29.57. Twenty-four hours, $34.64.

Except if you enter in the 24 hours starting at 4 a.m. Saturdays, when the rate drops to $11.83 for 12 hours, or the 24 hours starting at 4 a.m. Sundays, when the rate is $8.45 for up to 12 hours, or if you enter on Mondays through Fridays between 4 a.m. and 10 a.m. and exit by 8 p.m. …

Dear, Loved Ones

Dear Mikey,

Thank you for being openly excited and willing to fly to Minneapolis simply to help me move to Chicago. Unfortunately, my friendships with big strong (gay) men have all gone to shit which has left a little bit of NOBODY to help lift furniture.

I know you will enjoy your first flight out of the Fort Wayne International Airport that consists of only 6 gates. You will be sure to find your way around, no problem. I am almost positive you would have been upgraded had there been a First Class cabin on your flight. Take drugs and chew gum on the plane, I can guarantee it will be a shitty flight.

Please do not bring your gun, it will not pass security. Don't bring any cigarettes either. If you smoke, I will get grossed out and make you sleep on the floor.

I look forward to seeing you as long as we don't have to discuss politics and religion. We will NEVER see eye-to-eye on either of these subjects, so why debate? Big Daddy looks forward to meeting you as well... er... as long as you handle yourself with politeness and tact.

OK. So, honestly, we are nervous. Will you please move boxes and keep quiet next weekend?

See you early Thursday morning.

♥ Love, Your Sister a.k.a Baby Girl

Dear Big Daddy,

I freakin' love you man. You've always got my back.

THANK YOU for your support.

THANK YOU for your help (ALL of it.)

THANK YOU for being you.

THANK YOU for an amazing friendship.

THANK YOU (in advance) for putting up with my family. You will be a great inspiration to my brother, and a form of entertainment to my mother.

{{HUGS}}

♥ Love, Your BFF

Dear Mom,

Thank you for passing on the Shopping Gene. We can both celebrate the fact that the shopping scene in Chicago does not suck.

I know how often you like to go shopping - which tells me how often you will be in Chi. visitng. Thank goodness I am renting a 2 bedroom place with an off-street parking spot (for the Benz.) If you come too often, I may have to charge you rent.

What goes on while shopping stays between you and I. Never will we reveal how much money we actually spend... ok? (Not that I have anyone to answer to, but I know you do.)

See you on Friday (don't forget to stop by Trader Joe's to pick up some groceries.)

♥ Love, Your Beautiful Daughter

Dear Daddy,

Thank you for helping me move 8 times in the last 8 years whether it be across the street or across the country.

You're off the hook this time. Instread, I have recruited your son.

I look forward to being close enough to come home for the holidays again. I can even bring BJ!! (Maybe a boy??)

See you Easter Weekend.

I love you daddy,

♥ Crista

vulnerability

GRENADA

Nauseated, as we rode up and down the rocky streets in the mountains of Grenada traveling 85 miles per hour at the very least.

Relieved yet discontent as we approach the Balthazar Estates, a destination for tubing through the flowing rivers high up in the mountains of the island. Instantly, a group of 5-6 young men approach, immediately instructing us to leave all of our personal items in the taxi cab and to strip down to our swimsuits.

“You will need your flipflops,” they said’ “The river is rocky.” They instructed me on how to connect my flipflops to the life jacket they asked me to wear.

We had to trust that after tubing a few hundred feet down the river, the cab driver would meet us at our final destination, where we will be served a Run Punch and recollect our items. Uneasiness flowed through our bodies, as we knew little about the cab driver that had approached us at the Port in town 30 minutes prior, soliciting work for the day, and bargaining a price.

Apprehensive, we crossed our fingers that we would see our wallets, jewelry, cash, and credit cards at the rivers end.

--------------------------------------------------

DOMINICA

As we step off the ship in Dominca, we are instantly greeted by locals soliciting work for the day. “Hello ma’am, how are you? Would you like to visit a beautiful beach today?” “No Thank You,” we respond over and over and over again.

We had expected to be greeted by a guy holding a sign: eXteme doMinica. We would get in this strangers car and ride to the Cocoa Cottages which is home to a small guest house that sits deep in the rainforest. That is, prior to canyoning in an area of the island not many people get to see. He finally showed... 10 minutes late.

After being served fresh fruits and homemade juices at the guest house, we were sent to the outdoor changing area with wet suits, life jackets and harnesses. Again, we were asked to leave all of our belongings in a common room, there would be no room for them in the canyons.

Swimming through pools of fresh spring waters, rappelling down waterfalls, and jumping off 15 foot cliffs, we had put our lives and our safety into someone else’s hands.

For some reason, I had never felt more safe with these guys.

--------------------------------------------------

HOTELS

Completely aware that the maid will spend time in your room... cleaning... changing towels.... turndown. Your jewelry, laptop, ipod, favorite clothing and belongings left vulnerable to her envy, want, and greed.

I have only discovered one item missing out of a hotel room. Straight off the docking station in my room at the W Hotel, my IPOD disappeared. Not only MY IPOD, but my roommates IPOD as well.

Often times, I wonder which (if any) items have come up missing that I have never found out.

--------------------------------------------------

CABS

Often times, when flagging a cab, we do not look a cabbie straight in his eye and never bother asking his name. Ignorant to the color of the cab and the company name boldly written on the side of the car.

My first trip to New York City (alone) I found myself in a taxi cab whose driver decided he would not accept my credit card. He demanded cash that I did not have. We argued. He insisted that I take money out of any ATM in a convenience store while he wait across the street and around the corner with my bags, my belongings, all of my favorite items locked in his trunk. With the cab out of site, I bolted across the busy streets of Manhattan to withdrawal money I did not have.

After losing my iPhone in a cab in Vegas, I realized that I knew nothing about the person and the vehicle that had been responsible for getting me back to the hotel. I had no idea what color the vehicle was, whether it was a van or a car, or what the driver looked like. BUT my receipt did show what company the cab was with......

Needless to say, I never tracked that guy down.

--------------------------------------------------

Naturally, I write this post while lodged at the Sheraton Gateway LAX, half of my life packed within a few pieces of luggage. I have not been home since Feb. 28. Vulnerable to the outside world. My life constantly put in to someone else's hands........

Upgrade Me.

From: NWA Info
Subject: Elite upgrade notification - upgrade confirmed


Dear Crista :

The status of your complimentary WorldPerks Elite upgrade is as follows:

Flight: NW 438
From: Minneapolis - St Paul, Minnesota
To: Tampa, Florida
Departure Date: February 28, 2009

First Class Upgrade Status: Confirmed

Seat: 04C (Seat changes may be available at nwa.com.)

Your complete reservation and flight details are available at nwa.com. If you have further questions, please contact Northwest Airlines.

My condo is spotless (see: full of moving boxes) because the realtor is coming over this weekend to list the property. Crossing my fingers that is sells before April 1st. (Slightly creeped out that people will be in and out of there while I am gone)

I am wearing a short sleeve shirt, long shorts, and K. Cole flats despite the 16 degree weather in MN.

I am full on fresh organic fruit smoothie , NOT looking forward to the meal being served on the plane this afternoon. (see: CREEPY)

Just got word: Possible skydiving activities on my trip. I hope I packed a pair of appropriate shoes.

All of the fresh food in my refrigerator was gifted to a friend this morning. I can not stand to see fresh, organic, pricey food go to waste.

Praying to baby jesus, teenager jesus, AND grown-up jesus that MN will be snow-less upon my return.

That's all.

She Gone.

Shoes A-Go-Go

In preparation for my 18-day tropical get-away, I have been forced to make one of the hardest decisions of my life:

How many pairs of shoes will the girl attempt to fit into 3 bags (full of an un-godly amount of clothing)???

My prediction was that I would NEED to pack 20 pairs of shoes to get me through 18 days, but somehow or another, I was able to narrow it down to 11 pairs.

Below are Shoes A Go-Go and ....the Rejects.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

SHOES: A GO-GO

#1DOLLHOUSE: These sandals come complete with a low heel and a blingin' jewel mirrored and angeled in such a way that they provide a view up my dress... if one is looking hard enough.
#2CHINESE LAUNDRY: My mother passed these strappy silver sandals down to me. They will accompany me to evening dinner.
#3DOLLHOUSE: Due to the fact that high (or low for that matter) heels do not work on soft white sandy beaches and in crystal clear waters... one must come prepared with the Flips.
#4BCBG MAXAZRIA: Silver Flats that whore attention. Comfort & Style uncompromised.



#1KENNETH COLE REACTION: Loafer-style, mahogany flats. World-wide travelers. Within the next 18 days these flats will cruise through: MSP, ATL, TPA, San Juan, and LAX airports. I may also wear these to a meeting in Tampa.
#2CARLOS SANTANA: Red, Strappy, Corked heel. Hottness. Cruise wear. Possibly, meeting-friendly.
#3J CREW: Hawaiian-inspired flips. In rememberance of my trip to Hawaii last June. Chaka!
#4BCBG MAX AZRIA: Jelly egyptian sandals purchased in Wailea, Maui. Does it get any better than these?

#1GUESS: Be-jeweled strappy gold sandals. Evening Wear.
#2CHINESE LAUNDRY: Black strappy sandals. I refuse to wear the same pair of shoes two evenings in a row.
#3XOXO: Pink! Be-jeweled comfy slippers. These go everywhere I go. (there were in Duluth, MN two days ago)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

SHOES: REJECTED

#1GUESS: Again, purchased in Hawaii. These ALMOST made the cruise, BUT I made the decision to NOT wear a little black dress on the cruise. I am going all out tropical colors & patterns. Busy dress + Busy shoes = ...eh... tryin too hard?
#2BEBE: Chunky wedge? Maybe when I was 19. Give me a spike.
#3RAMPAGE: Again, busy shoes. Made for daytime. Daytime = Beach. Heels + Beach = Do Not Mix
#4BCBG: Closed Toes? Not on this cruise. BUT these do happen to be my most favorite and the most reliable pair of shoes I have ever owned. I have had them for years.........




#1STEVE MADDEN: Chunky Wedge? eh.......
#2GUESS: Silver HIGH heel? Love em, but they didn't make the cut.
#3BCBG: Love this low-heeled strappy sandal, BUT the strappies are becoming fragile. I will not tolerate any mis-haps on this trip.
#4MOSSIMO: Love em. BUT a girl can only carry so many pairs of closed toes shoes to the tropics.

The Surreal Life

I spent the last two days in Duluth, MN, a small city that sits on Lake Superior 2 1/2 hours North of the cities.

The challenge with Duluth is the restaurant selection. There are no Panera Breads, no Chipoltes, no Starbucks, no organic grocery stores in existence in Duluth. Food options are limited to: Applebee's, Perkin's, Old Country Buffet, and The Great American Grill... a lil Wendy's and Burger King..... ick.

As I have said before, traveling is not always glamorous. In fact, here are some of the things I was exposed to within my 2-day trip to Duluth:

• a girl blow drying her hair with a hand dryer in the restroom of a gas station. she was literally flipped upside down with her head under the hair dryer. (i must add that the gas station was located in no-man's land minnesota)
• toilets filled with yellow water. no, not pee-pee. YELLOW water.
• in a room full of 20 chicks, at least 10 of them were wearing white sweat socks with black pants and black shoes.
• a lack of food that was raw & fresh. a lack of Naked Juice. ok, absolutely NO FRESH RAW FOOD.

While on the road, I had some time to reflect on the last 6 months of my life. I have spent 5-6 months filled with anxiety, disappointment, & dissatisfaction. I have been back-stabbed, & I have been the subject of people's laughing matter. I have not been supported, and have been ignored. I have not been encouraged to follow my dreams, but instead led down a different path.

A glimpse of what I have experienced:

....my coworkers- the ones that I work closely with... all happen to be women. Women that THRIVE on gossip....

....my job could often times be compared to a bad joke....

....i spent the last two days driving to Iowa* and driving back home from Iowa. in a snow blizzard....

.....I want to be happy. I want to feel excitement. Instead, I am often reminded of the disappointment I am causing others to feel......

......my work life becomes more and more unpleasant every day. i am on the verge of tears more often than not these days.....

....I just told my boss that I do not feel she is supportive of me.....

....accused of being appointed this job that i have been interviewing for since october....


Tomorrow marks the last day in this chapter of my life. Tomorrow is my last day with my current job. Tomorrow is the last day I will work in the state of Minnesota. Tomorrow is the last day that I work for people that do not support me living out my dreams.

Saturday marks the first day of the new chapter of my life. Saturday marks a new beginning . On Saturday, I fly to Tampa and I will not come back to Minnesota until March 18th. I will come back to a condo filled with boxes.... my life packed in those few boxes.... all ready to make a move. A move that will fulfill one of my dreams.

Now, time to focus on that Cruise................

Those who risk, win.

xox ♥Happy Me.

just another THURSday...

3:15 am Alarm Sounds
4:00 am Smoothie in hand
4:20 am Pack my laptop/books/notepad into my laptop bag
4:22 am Hop in the car - headed to the airport
4:45 am Arrive at the MSP airport
4:50 am Discover the security line is long. VERY long. with no shortcut for Elite/First Class Passengers
4:55 am I manage to cut t least 50 people in the security line
4:59 am I hurriedly rush through the airport (in heels) in order to make my flight on time
5:00 am I am discovered by a shuttle driver and am basically thrown in to his shuttle as it is moving and am transported to my gate at the other end of the airport
5:06 am In line for a bottle of water and a not-so-organic banana
5:11 am Board plane to ATL
5:40 am With Paris Hilton's Confessions Of An Heiress
8:49 am Via the BBC Newsreader iPhone app., I discover Chicago is in the lead for Olympics 2016
8:59 am Deplane in ATL
9:00 am Rushing through airport in order to catch my connecting flight to TPA
9:19 am Bitched out by some woman sitting in MY seat. she thought she was right. I knew she was wrong.
9:49 am With Paris Hilton's Confessions Of An Heiress
11:04 am Arrive TPA
11:34 am @ Marriot Airport Restaurant meeting with my new (potential) bosses for a final interview
12:30 pm Did my interviewer just order a second plate of food??
1:00 pm Did one of my interviewers just get up in the middle of our conversation to make a trip to the gift shop, only to return with a Valentines Day Gift for his wife?
1:15 PM Giving my interviewer instructions on a DIY Valentine's Day card
1:30 pm Meeting over. On tram back to Delta Gates
2:00 pm plugged in at a station in the business center, I scour tripadvisor.com for things to do while on cruise in March
4:00 pm Board a plane back to ATL
4:06 pm Plane smells like piss and sweaty socks
4:20 pm With Confession's Of An Heiress
5:45 pm Deplane in ATL
5:50 pm Rush to the opposite end of the airport to catch connecting flight
5:59 pm Just in time for the attendant to not close the aircraft door in my face. last one to board the plane
6:02 pm Seat 39A? Fuck.
6:15 pm I am reminded for the FOURTH time today that my seat cushion doubles as a flotation device
6:20 pm I need to quit my job and become an heiress
6:35 pm With The Secret Life Of Bees movie
7:59 pm Steadily watching every move the plane makes on Delta GPS, counting down the minutes unil I can get off the f'n airplane
8:11 pm Arrive in MSP.
8:23 pm Deplane.
8:40 pm Shuttle to long-term parking, blue ramp, Acura parked in the first row.

cruisin'

Mid-March, I am headed back to the Caribbean Celebrity Cruise style ..... a 7 day trip that will be squeezed between divisional meetings in Tampa and an artist training in LA. I will be gone from home a total of 17 consecutive days.

[image yanked from DailyCandy]

Upon arrival to San Juan, I anticipate shopping, and delish vegan puerto rican food (does it exist... COULD it exist??) Due to the fact that I am boarding a CRUISE SHIP and can not stay in Puerto Rico (for very long) and PLAY, I will am thoroughly disappointed in missing an opportunity to swim amongst the jellyfish in the BioBay at midnight.

Maho Bay is located at the Southwest shore of St. Maarten and has a feeling similar to that of the Las Vegas Strip. The beach sits on the southern end of the airport runway and warns that "Low Flying and Departing Aircraft may cause injury." Seriously.

In the Dominca, we will put on a wetsuit and helmet... and prepare ourselves for rapelling through waterfalls, scrambling over logs jams, and wading through rivers and pools Extreme Dominca Style.

Nestled between the exotic and magnificent tropical rainforest, flora, fauna and history of the Balthazar Estate, Grenada offers a river tubing experience that is sure to be the "thrill of a lifetime." While aboard a glass-bottomed boat, I will be sure to check out the underwater sculptures.

In Tobago, how do you choose between beachin' at heavenly Castara Bay or snorkeling in the Nylon Pool which is an off-shore sandbar, a swimming pool in the middle of the ocean?

I have passed up the opportunity for surfing lessons one too many times, In Barbados, I will not pass up the opportunity to ride the waves.

what goes on in Vegas. . . .

After 5 days in Vegas with 8000 hairdressers, The Mix, 5 nights of heavy drinking, tequila shots, Natasha Beddingfield, Redken Platform Artists, Fremont Street, Japonais, The Fashion Show Mall, serious shopping (much better than in the minne city), all of my co-workers, a lil Gossip, room service, table service, runway shows, beautiful hair, a few good workouts at Spa Mandalay, a lack of privacy, and a lost cell phone, it is tough to step back in to the redundance of my little life in Minnesota.

My mailbox is overstuffed, the bills are unpaid, the money in my bank account in untouched, my clothing is unpacked, laundry is undone, and the pooch finally came home.

I am forced to face my move to Chicago. To face the people that are unsatisified with my decision. My boss is not happy, my co-workers are not happy, they would all love for me to stay in Minneapolis. Me moving to Chicago complicates their lives. They will be forced to find someone to replace me - which (all jokes aside) will not be an easy thing to do.

I want to be happy. I want to feel excitement. Instead, I am often reminded of the disappointment I am causing others to feel. I am letting my team & my friends down.

Since my move to Minneapolis almost 2 years ago, my friends in Chicago have been sitting on the edges of their seats awaiting my come back.

You win some, you lose some.

I watched 2 people cry this weekend, in anticipation of my departure from the Twin Cities.
On the flip side, I watched people celebrate with excitement due to my relocation back to the Chicago market.

This is not going to be an easy year for me.

I opened my e-mail to find this:

Hi Crista,
It was so nice to spend a little time with you at Symposium- Im as sooooooooooooooo excited to bring you on board in Chicago . Please keep in touch with me and let me know how I can help you with any transition. Im looking forward to working with you and I just know you are going to be amazing for us in Chi town. If you ever want to spend some time with me in the field, please let me know.

However I can help you – Im there for you.

Crista Takes On The Minne City

Shopping

No doubt, I am an avid consumer of material goods.

The Mall Of America (MOA):

• is the second largest enclosed mall in terms of retail space but is largest in terms of total enclosed floor area
• has a gross area of 4.2 million sq ft., with 2.5 million sq ft. available as retail space
• over 520 stores are arranged along three levels of pedestrian walkways on the sides of the rectangle, with a fourth level on one side
• opened in 1992, the mall received 40 million visitors in 2006

All that being said, you would think that one would be beside themselves to reside downtown Minneapolis, within 10 miles of this absurdly gigantic shopping center.

In view of the Redken Symposium happening this weekend, and a lack of spare time, I found it necessary to take a quick shopping trip to the MOA* – in search of a few swank & voguish pieces/accessories to wear.

After all, RS09 is THE place to be noticed, being that there will be 10,000** hairdressers in attendance. I am unwilling to show up unrehearsed and ill-considered, providing a perception of the mid-western Minnesota girl that is flourishing within me.

*Options for shopping in the Twin Cities:

• Mall Of America - the LARGEST selection of shopping
• downtown Minneapolis -which includes Macy’s, Off Saks, and Banana Republic
• the Premium Outlet Mall in Albertville -Puma, Banana Republic, BCBG, K. Cole
• Southdale/Edina that provides the option of Len Druskin.
• TJ Maxx
• OR Buffalo Exchange (the Minneapolis edition)

Plenty of money in hand (OK, daddy’s credit card that I am responsible for paying), I was ready to purchase any and every voguish item that caught my eye.

After hitting Bloomingdales, Nordstrom Rack, H&M, AND Forever 21 – using ALL of my resources @ MOA- I walked out of the mall empty-handed, forced to head back home to my closet full of yesterdays clothing.

(There was NO DOUBT at the very least, I would find a few disposable, on-trend items at Forever 21. WTF )

I went ahead and packed every piece of yesterdays clothing I own, and will make do.

**give or take a few thousand – we’re in a recession.

RS09

The Redken Symposium is the industry’s premiere educational event and gathers over 10,000 Redkenites from all across the world!

The REDKEN SYMPOSIUM atmosphere is unconventional and unrivalled by anyone else in our industry. This time, there are no rules to hold you back… no formalities that tie your need to twist tradition and adjust reality. Our talented artists will work without rulebooks to encourage you to entertain your innermost aspirations. Using your mind over attitude, you’ll sharpen your intellect with focus that inspires you, network with individuals who can think on your page, bring creativity from the outside in… and exhibit whatever you feel, whenever you feel it without judgment, attitude or compromise.

Las Vegas, a city which reinvents itself daily- and where color, energy, innovation and nightlife never end - will once again host the Symposium.

Join us at its most eclectic hotel, the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in 2009. redken.com

This is a small visual of what my world will look like as soon as I step off of a plane in Vegas on Friday. The Redken Symposium only happens every 2 years and is probably the largest event I will ever attend. Year after year, the Symposium is voted the #1 Educational Event by hairstylists across the nation.

I am proud to be a part of it.

But what the hell am I going to wear?? I will dress simply and let my personality do the talking. . .

ALSO, I apologize for the lame content of my blog since the turn of the New Year. I'm feeling slightly understimulated and I've been in a funk. The Symposium will drag me out of the funk I have been in and will be sure to load me with content to spill Crista From The Block* style.

Please do not forget to check your reactions at the bottom of the blog.

Peace, love & unicorns. xox

north bound

Unwillingly, and not without kicking and screaming, moaning and complaining.... I am headed to Duluth this afternoon. Driving. Here is the weather forecast:

Today: Sun and clouds mixed. Cold. High 2F. Winds W at 5 to 10 mph.
Tonight: Variably cloudy with snow showers. Low -6F. Winds ENE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of snow 80%. Snow accumulating 1 to 2 inches.
Tomorrow: Variable clouds and windy with scattered snow flurries and snow showers. Cold. Dangerous wind chills as low as -25F. High 2F. Winds NNW at 25 to 35 mph. Chance of snow 40%.
Tomorrow night: Bitterly cold. A few clouds from time to time. Dangerous wind chills may approach -40F. Low -19F. Winds NW at 15 to 25 mph.

WTF (in bright red to represent my terror)

The only thing that I am moderately excited about is scoring a pair of Minnetonka Moccasins while cruising the lands of Minnesota. Nina Garcia recommends that every stylish woman should have a pair of MM in The One Hundred.

I will not fail to mention the recent headlines:

Minnetonka moccasins soar in fashion world
By Sara Glassman,
MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE
Monday, November 24, 2008

MINNEAPOLIS -- When it comes to shoes and boots this season, fringe is on top. Soft Minnetonka Moccasins, with their signature hanging strips of suede, have inspired designers and urban bohemians for decades. Over the past year, their popularity has been soaring.

In light of the uncertain economy, they are relatively affordable -- basic shoes start at $30, and more elaborate boots with three tiers of fringe are $86. Plus, every style is completely flat, making them far more comfortable and practical than stilettos.

With these populist perks, it's not surprising that moccasins are having a fashion moment. But even trendsetters who theoretically would be able to afford much pricier versions by Jimmy Choo ($495) and Michael Kors ($475) favor the Minnetonka brand. Fashion muse Kate Moss has been sporting them for years. Last month, she was spotted in brown knee-high Minnetonka mocs with a pair of denim cutoffs in London. Young stars Lindsay Lohan, Blake Lively and
Mischa Barton also have been photographed in them.

That said, the footwear-of-the-moment isn't a one-season wonder. In the recently published "The One Hundred: The Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own," authors Nina Garcia and Ruben Toledo identify must-haves such as pencil skirts and red lipstick, but recognize Minnetonka Moccasin by the brand name. They wrote: "Many people have made fashion versions of the original, but the original is still the hands-down favorite."

Those originals, as the Minnetonka implies, have Minneapolis roots. However, there are a few misconceptions to be cleared up about them, starting with the fact that the company is headquartered in Minneapolis and never has been based in or even affiliated with the city
identified in the moniker.

"Minnesota, Minnehaha, Minnetonka ... the name sounds Native American and local in origin," says David Miller, president of the family-owned shoe business.

His grandfather, Philip Miller, started Minnetonka Moccasins in 1946, after World War II, as a
gift supplier for resorts. "There was more automobile traffic because of the growing highway system in the United States," David Miller says. "Wherever people went, from Yosemite to northern Minnesota, they would buy trinkets, and the moccasins were part of that."

Tourist souvenirs aside, are there any authentic Indian roots? "No, we've never associated ourselves with a Native American product or been made by Native Americans," Miller says. "Moccasins are part of the Native American culture. I'm sure at one time there was an authentic product being sold, but not by us."

Specific styles of Minnetonka Moccasins have had moments in the spotlight in recent years: In 2005, it was the classic with beaded eagles, and a few years before that, it was the lace-up boots.

Many of the styles, from shoes to ankle boots to knee-highs, are hot now, especially in Los Angeles and New York. "We've been involved in fashion cycles, but this is very broad," Miller says. "We're honored, amused and flattered."

Much of the credit is because of the celebrity connection. Miller is very familiar with the impact that model Moss has had on business. "Kate will be in a magazine, wearing boots identified as Minnetonkas, and our distributor in Japan will call the next day," he says. "That's the world
today -- small and instantaneous."

EDITOR NOTE: Jan. 13th 1:30 PM update: I NEVER made it to Duluth. My garage door would not open due to -19 degree weather. it only gets better with time....

i'm going down.

i just spent the last half an hour attempting to de-frost my freezer with a blow dryer.

i spent the last two days driving to Iowa* and driving back home from Iowa. in a snow blizzard.

i have spent the last 3 days with my freezer hanging open, hoping that it would thaw it.

i came home to an open, frozen freezer after being in Iowa for 24 hours.

i experienced two mondays this week. sunday was monday and monday was monday.... and it is still monday.

tuesday means that i am obligated to drive to Duluth**. wednesday means that i will still be in duluth.

forget getting off of work at 5 and going home to the fresh food that is spoiling in my fridge, the pooch, or the boyfriend. this week, i have no time for a personal life.

friday means that i fly to Vegas. for the biggest Redken event on this planet. i should be excited. but instead, i am exhausted.

i just spilled a bottle of water all over my bed. the bed that i so badly want to cuddle up in and cry myself to sleep.

and it is still monday.

*No Man's Land

**No Man's Land

gone home

Fort Wayne. "Home." not 'home' to me, rather 'home' to my family.
nothing fancy about this place... besides my mothers car and the piano player at Von Maur.

i grew up here. from the age of 6 to the age of 21.

everyone moves so slow. nothing changes. everything stays the same. upon entering the Fort, i am perceived as the same person i was 5-10-15 years ago. a flawed teenager. that could not smoke a cigarette, dropped out of high school for a month, and dated all of the wrong guys. i will also always and forever be labeled as bric's ex-girlfriend.

i see the same people, shopping the same stores, at the same mall- all of the people slightly pudgier than in the past. i take a double glances as if trying to remember what interaction (if any) i had with these familiar-looking people.

i shop with my mother -giving her the opportunity to show off the daughter that she seems so proud of, that she is proud to have be-friended. she trots me in the bank, the nail shop, the coffee shop - these places that she visits frequently. she takes the opportunity to introduce me to the bank teller, the barista, the manicurist, the chinese lady. she receives plenty of compliments - she thrives off compliments.

i am reminded of the distance between my mother and i when her husband refuses to show his face the entire 36 hours i visit their home. he keeps himself locked in the bedroom. my mother takes him a plate full of food... and returns with an empty plate.

pops. he's a good guy. a man of honesty. messy, yet systematic. he appreciates the simpler things in life. he provides highly intellectual conversation during road trips to grandpa's place. content included: Colorado Snow Tire Chains Laws, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar, ”Santa Baby” by Taylor Swift, Sunflowers grown in Colorado, The rice production in Sacramento, & ”a 40 Caliber Glock.

both of my parents homes are still filled with gifts that i have given them in prior years: elephant candles, picture frames, angel ornaments, george foreman grills, and spoon rests. both of their refrigerators are still filled with diet cokes. pops still keeps 24 packs of sams choice water from wal-mart... for me.

Fort Wayne is a dark place, one that i do not associate with positive happenings. the young boys carry guns and weapons... while at work... while at the club... while holding their babies. my brother, being one of these boys has become a product of his environment. he is impossible, stubborn, a heavily-opinionated jesus-worshiping republican.

On Sunday, I will leave Fort Wayne via the "Fort Wayne International Airport." And I will not be back for another year.

there is no place like home... right?

Tis The Season - Take 2

Naturally, when I went to start my car this morning, it would not start. Remember how I just purchased it, AND I park in the garage? No one / no car is immune - not even the Acura.

Whatev.

Instead of working, I was confined to my condo with unpacking, re-packing, and gift wrapping to handle.

I am headed 'home' to Fort Wayne, Indiana tomorrow for the first time in one year. I only go 'home' once a year for various reasons including: airfare, driving time, lack of interest, my busy work schedule, AND I live in the middle of BFE with no outlet to the outside world (not really, but it feels that way sometimes.)

I went back to Fort Wayne last year, and the trip turned in to a complete disaster. Flights were cancelled, luggage was lost, I was trapped in an undesirable location: The Airport (for hours and hours and hours.)

I got a phone call from pops this morning only to find out he has been without power since Friday afternoon- him and 50,000 + other people in Fort Wayne!

FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WANE) - December 2008 Ice Storm Update: 3:00 PM, 12/21/2008

Indiana Michigan Power continues to make progress on restoring power despite hazardous weather conditions.

However, some customers
are experiencing repeated service interruptions today as a result of strong winds in the area. I&M is advising customers to ensure alternate living arrangements either through American Red Cross shelters (listed below) or with family and friends, if they are in need of housing.

Weather forecasts for the remainder of today and into the evening call for sustained winds of 20 -25 mph with gusts up to 40 mph.

As of 3 p.m. Sunday, about 54,400 I&M customers are awaiting restoration of electric service, primarily in the Fort Wayne area.

I&M has brought in more than 1,200 additional personnel to restore power to the Fort Wayne region and is expecting more assistance to arrive today.

Property owners must make sure that the service entrance attached to their structure is prepared to be reenergized.

I have spent the last 2 weekends in airports that are notorious for flight delays and cancellations. Out of the 4 flights I had scheduled, only one was cancelled and I was able to hop an earlier flight out that day (not without DRAMA.) My flight tomorrow with mark my 5th & 6th flight out of Minnesota in the dead of winter. Remember: Traveling is not always glamorous.... especially when 50,000 + people are without power in -2 temperatures, and another ice storm is anticipated at your final destination.

So, tomorrow marks the day for Crista's Holiday Adventure 2008.

WoW

W Hotel
+
Voss Water
+
Acura
+
Liquid Metal
+
Puma

+

♫♪ ♫ ★ ♫♪ ♫
=

ME

(seriously. I could swear the W Hotel caters to my EXACT needs and wants)

W Hotel = My Love

Jet Setter

Fact: I travel much more often than the average person.

Myth: I live a secret life while away from home.

Most people get very excited when it comes to taking a trip far away from home.

An airplane ride is a big deal, and is booked several months in advance. A 6 hour road trip is thoroughly planned. Days and days are spent laying out the items being considered for packing. Money for the big trip is saved for months and months. Numerous thoughts & images of the mysterious destination flood the mind. The trip's itinereary is carefully thought through, only after reading numerous online reviews.

My traveling experience is slightly different. MOST of the time, I am on the road for some type of work event, being a Hair Show, Meeting, or simply to visit salons in markets outside of the Twin Cities. My boss lives in a different state than myself, I have a home office, and am only accompanied by one other co-worker in the Twin Cities. The only way to connect with my co-workers is through travel. Pack the bags, hop a plane, meet up with them in a new city. We have become so accustomed to traveling, we have learned to navigate through any city, and make whatever city we are in 'our life' for that period of time.

When I am on the road, the activities I involve myself are similar to those of the average working-class american: Shower, Iron, Makeup. Breakfast. Coffee. Text friends. Meeting. Work. Lunch. Text. Happy Hour. More Work. Dinner. Text more friends. Hit the streets. OR lay in bed, remote in hand, blogging. There is a slight chance, that I may have FREE TIME in the evening after work to meet up with a friend or two local to the city I am visiting. A slight chance.

Often times, I share a room with a co-worker of mine, have no privacy, no alone time, and am caught up in the presence of people that I do not see often. Catching up on the 411 is an obligation. Did I mention that I rarely see the outside of the hotel?

Being away from home for 10+ days, booking a flight less than 3 days in advance, blowing off a flight, navigating large airports, losing my luggage for 2+ days, being caught alone in cities overnight due to bad weather, hopping in random cabs, making friends with cabbies, staying the night in hotels ranging from boutique to Marriot to Days Inn, hopping a flight to New York, or catching a plane jumper from the islands to San Juan are all daily activities for me.

People often associate my traveling with this sort of 'mysterious life' I live. It is hard for them to visualize exactly what it is that I am doing while I am off in what seems like some luxurious place where I have tons of free time to explore the city, meet people, and add names to the list of people I have screwed.

I can remember back to the very first vacation I took with friends-no parents involved. We stayed in a condo on Treasure Island, and spent our evenings running the streets of Ybor City. As we were preparing for our trip, people kept saying to just be careful. "Be careful.... just.. be safe..." was said in the most solemn of voices. People assumed we were going to Tampa to meet guys and get laid. I was taken aback by these ridiculous assumptions. We were headed to Tampa simply because we were offered a condo at an amazing price. Our agenda was sun-bathing, wave crashing, and drinking at the bar. We had no idea Ybor City even existed. We found it though... and this pretty much sums up our time spent there:

We never did shack up with any guys... and that was never our intention.

Fact: I am able to travel more often for leisure due to Miles earned while flying across the country for my job.

Fact: I DO get to see some cool ish and I DO visit some beautiful places.

Fact: I do NOT enjoy living out of a bag.

Fact: Clothing gets lost, shoes get damaged, and luggage gets torn while en route.

Fact: I am in and out of a buttload of Public Restrooms

Fact: Hotel Food disgusts me. (i would much prefer a home cooked vegan meal)

Fact: Staying home is a small luxury. (as far as I'm concerned)

gossip girl

Again, I am on the road in Beautiful Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I only know that it is beautiful because other people have clued me in - I get stuck in the hotel for 6 days without seeing the light of day. I don't even know what part of the state I am in!! In the short time that I have been here this weekend I have re-learned a few things about people... and living...:

• Nothing positive comes of making facebook friends out of your coworkers.
• When people are jealous, they lie.
• Alcohol draws the bold words out of peoples mouths that they have been dying to say all along.
• Just because you are happy in life does not mean people will be happy for you or with you.
  

It is my first time in a few months that I have been in the presence of my coworkers. When we get together, we work and party, update our life stories, share the 411, and spread gossip. My coworkers- the ones that I work closely with... all happen to be women. Women that THRIVE on gossip. It just so happens that the latest rumor being spread happens to be about ME. The rumor spread from a picture or two they found on facebook. What I have figured out is that this rumor is spreading quickly, and everyone is looking for evidence to confirm this rumor. OF COURSE, they have all gone to each other seeking evidence, but not one of them has come directly to me for the simple truth.

(This year, the marketing department for the company I work for decided to create a Facebook Page for the company to attract new consumers. Along with that, many of my coworkers have joined the site. A large portion of my friends list consists of coworkers - up until last night)

Honestly, I underestimated the interest that my coworkers have in my facebook page. Apparently, everyone (coworkers) checks it out fairly regularly.

--

Wisconsin is a state that still allows smoking in bars. Gross. I frequent bars and restaurants in cities like Minneapolis and Chicago that do not allow smoking in public places. I almost forgot what it was like to be smacked in the face with a cloud of smoke as you walk in to a bar. I am pretty sure I got the lung cancer last night. Need Detox. I was hung over all day - not from drinking but from the inhalation of secondhand smoke. Blah. SO... needless to say, the bar did not see me tonight. In room... with SNL.

*photo yanked from Daily Candy

xox Crista

The Road To Nowhere

During my 4 hour trip to Fargo, ND (?!?eek!?) this afternoon (in the new locked & loaded Acura TL)I had a lot of things to think about, and a lot of time to listen to talk radio on XM.

My day began with an attempt to sleep in, due to lack of sleep 2 nights in a row.... then prepping for a salon meeting that quite possibly might be a slight waste of time (due to the amount of time they have allowed me in their salon)... and then dropping the pooch off at the dog sitters AGAIN (I swear my dog is with the sitter more than he is with me eek!.) Then, just as I want to stay home and curl up in bed for the rest of the day/week/month/forever?!?, I begin my trip to North Dakota. Seriously, Who goes THERE??! And seriously, who goes to Dubuque, Cedar Rapids, and Cedar Falls, Iowa?!? I do. For work. And I stay for long periods of time. With nothing to do but sit in a hotel room at the Fairfield Inn.

While cruising down the road, focusing on my safety first (trying my hardest not to ram in to the back of a Semi... although I'd rather it be a semi than some Mercedes Benz or something equivalent), I realize that everything I do, every thought that goes through my head, every conversation I have, and everything I see... In my mind, I am constantly thinking up ways that I am going to incorporate those experiences in to my Facebook, Myspace, &/or Blogspot. What is about putting our lives on display that gives us a feeling of recognition, of being noticed? To be honest, I am more comfortable putting some information on display to the world (or whoever chooses to look) via WWW than I am just flat out having conversation about it. Instead of choosing to call my friends and chat about a situation, often times I choose to blog about it instead... and HOPE that my friends and/or SOMEONE is going to stumble across my blog and read my thoughts! I definitely need to know that someone is reading. It's almost as if I feel the need to whore my blog.

Latel, I have been listening to a lot of talk radio on XM. It's all new to me so I am constantly flipping through stations trying to decide which stations are going to be my favorites. I got stuck on POTUS which covers 24 hours of presidential election garb. So, this 8 or 9 year old kid is featured on the station because he is going to be a voting machine for halloween. As he trick-or-treats, he asks that people drop their candy in the bag that represents their presidential candidate of choice. This kid will then count up all of the votes at the end of the night. This kid has a website that is a must see: http://www.candyvote.com/ Then of course I flipped over to the E! Entertainment station and they were chatting about Ms. Palin and what her potential is after she loses the election. Of course, they thought she would make a great replacement for Elizabeth Hasselback on The View. LOL. AND she should keep her SNL gig.

And... I have a situation with my job. My position has become available in Chicago. Of course, I have inquired about moving and snatching up that position because I NEED to get back to Chicago. You can only imagine the things on my mind - where am I gonna live... I need to find a new apartment... when am I going to move... should I not book any more flights out of Minneapolis.... where am I going to park the TL when I move.... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...... so, I have only inquired, the position is not mine yet, and who knows if it ever will. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I will make it back to Chicago sooner than later.

So I finally arrive in Moorhead, ND, check-in to the Marriot Courtyard, and find out they offer room service! Score. Now I just hope I will get some good rest tonight.

Uhm.. then AFTER I order my meal (walleye & potatoes) I get a call back from room service that they are out of walleye, and out of creme brulee. No vegetarian options on the menu. Great. I'll be eating lettuce for dinner. And they call traveling.... "luxurious" .....sighs.....

Chances are, Crista needs a ride.

I said I would drive this car in to the ground, and it looks as if I have done just that.

Be afraid of Semi's!

I was pretty much attacked by one the other day, and as you can see, I lost the battle. While cruising down the expressway at 70 MPH, I got caught in the "draft" of a semi truck - a gust of wind that sent my car flying away from the truck and then pulled me right back in and slammed me in to his back bumper - thankfully I was at his back bumper and not underneathe his truck! (I am also lucky not to have been smashed by the other cars cruising my way at 70 MPH as my car was spinning across the expressway.)

The Semi driver seemed very familiar with the situation on hand and acted as if it was fairly common.

My car has been paid off for quite some time now, and I was enjoying the freedom of no car payment -I was like a rich person!! BUT, needless to say - it looks as if I will be purchasing another car and paying for it over a span of 3 or 4 or 5 years. great :) !!