Salon Whore

Every Friday (well, most Fridays), I work behind the chair at a Salon.

The daily happenings of the salon are inevitable and never change:

• straight boys that act like gay boys (or vise versa --we have yet to get it all figured out),
• someone's mom wearing pink hair,
• chicks complaining about their weight as they stuff their faces with Jucy Lucies & French Fries,
• someone rockin' the Frye Boots,
• at least one chick crying (over a stalker boyfriend OR a scandalous remark made about themselves),
• a chick that farts (loudly),
• AND multiple guests that are currently in or just out of the recovery program.

Every month(ish) the salon features a local artist, by hanging their artwork throughout the salons massive white walls.

Last night, the artist currently being featured hosted an opening party to kick-off his "I'm-being-featured-at-the-Tease-Salon-and-I-want-all-my-friends-and-family-to-see" night. To prepare for the lavish affair the salon closed it's doors early, which meant that instead of doing hair and making money, we (the stylists of Tease Salon) were expected to clean the place from top-to-bottom.

Due to the fact that I am not in the salon every day, it happens quite often that I am not in-the-know with all of the happenings at the Tease Salon. When I walked in to the salon Friday morning, I had NO idea that we would be closing our doors early, and expected to pull out our Maiden Aprons to prepare for 5 artists that would be displaying their artwork to approximately 200 guests that evening.

Despite my saltiness, I would declare the evening a great success.....

MINUS the SHIM (she/him/it) heedlessly discussing his(?)... errr... her(?)... flogging/bondage/fetish hobbies with any and everyone ....whether they were ready to hear it.. or not.

AND Mr. Important in the Art Community... who's retired and rich, spends a lot of money at Nordstroms, and who's body has not changed since college.... who blatantly said (among plenty of creepy things that came out of his mouth) that if I were wearing a swimsuit, dark tan, and coral lipstick that he would be stalking me.... in a good way. (Oh god, the visuals in his mind.... he did want to clarify what type of swimsuit I would be wearing. eek) Mr. IITAC made a few attempts at positioning himself as my sugar daddy. I think. Did I mention Mr. IITAC wears cashmere?

Never a dull moment at the Tease Salon.