Sunday, September 21, 2008

oh holy gayness.

While cleaning up my e-mail inbox, I happen to run across this creative e-mail sent to me by one of my bff's. This e-mail was entitled: REACHING TRANSCENDENT LEVELS!!! beware

Good Morrow:

It I can't get any more metro.. ...I can!!

Sleeping was rather difficult there was way too much anticipation for the new Madonna CD that hits the shelves today.

I awoke this morning 25 minutes earlier then usual, and as I lay in bed contemplated how exactly I can get my hands on a hard copy of "Hard Candy".

Alas I arose rather quickly showered and changed as I got in my car and researched all of the targets in the metro area on the way to Burnsville!

The time is 7:47 AM as I arrive at Target Penn Ave and 494. I nervously approach the entrance only to my dismay realize that Target opens at 8:00 AM. I will have to say that those 13 Minutes have been the longest 13 minutes of my life. Every 30 seconds I glanced at my phone wondering why 13 minutes felt like an eternity.

7:53 AM Many cars are starting to fill the Target parking lot, and I'm seeing a lot
of people just lounging in their vehicles. My concern is rising that somehow every "Mo" in Minneapolis is going to savagely run towards the door and attack the Music/Electronic section.

7.57 AM Rest assured, I'm at the bloody door just looking at the manager looking at me. I know what she's thinking! The Bi*ch! She's secretly laughing at me... she holds the key in her hand that will let me enter, and with 3 minutes to spare she's knows I'm counting down the minutes. Holy 6 pounds and three ounces of baby Jesus.. you think there might be some law out there stating that they can't open the door for a customer 3 minutes early even while there is a group of clients outside. ( I never knew Target was such a hoot at 7:50 AM!)

8:00 AM I'm the 1st one in and the It felt like the three red necks behind me were running towards Madonna as well. I was seriously prepared to tackle some hick. Turns out.. I guess I was really the only Mo in Bloomington, MN really going for the CD. There was a thug that passed by me which noticed my haste. When he finally saw me reach towards my objective I think he glared at me after seeing what I was going for. No doubt in my mind he knew I was fruitful.

8:05 I checked out and used my wonderful birthday target gift card, and realized I HAD 3.37 CENTS TO SPARE! So of course I made my way to the Starbucks and picked myself up a Low fat Iced Mocha. What the hay I mean I've already maxed out on an outstanding level of MO.

8:15 I brought my laptop to work, uploaded the music and downloaded it to my IPOD! I'm content and jaming out to what I think might be another great album by Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, and Danja.

Don't mess with me when I'm reaching ultimate, maximum, transcendent, unsurpassable and utmost levels of nellyness.

Taste my rainbow!


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